Why do we feel disillusioned ?
Life as I told you, in my first chapter, under the title ‘Life : The Entrapment’, is a tough terrain. We often face stumbling blocks and hurdles which are very difficult to overcome. There are times, when you feel exhausted and frustrated.
And there are times, when you feel disillusioned.
I will tell you a real life story which I had experienced.
It was the month of December of 2009, when I went to Sikkim with my wife, to make a Travel Documentary and there we befriended a middle – aged, stockily – built, humorous, mild – mannered, self – righteous man, whom I affectionately gave the name ‘Django’, as he loved sporting a cowboy hat and he resembled the brave – hearted heros from the Hollywood Westerns. He was married and had a lovely wife and a daughter who was married to a difficult man.
Over the next one year, both the families became very close and we used to meet up once a month and have good times together. There were no excesses, or trivialities in him, yet he was a jovial man with a good understanding of human life. All in all, he was a jolly good fellow and a very nice person to be with. He ran a business which was not doing well. He was a disenchanted man as he could not bring himself to engage in malpractices. On occasions, he used to lament about state of the world, the inequalities in the society, the rampant corruption and the meaninglessness of life.
At the end of 2010, he suddenly went into severe depression and I personally treated him. He came out of the depression and was doing reasonably well and we were in regular touch thereafter.
Then one day, I got a call from his daughter and she told me that Django has taken his life by hanging himself. I wasn’t really shocked as I knew that he harboured a lot of misgivings in his life and he could not fit himself into the existing scheme of things. Though, I never expected him to commit suicide but I knew all along that he was a man who was face – to – face with an existential crisis, for which he neither had any answer, nor he was able to come to terms with the injustices and wrongdoings which he was surrounded with.
Django’s story clearly depicts the predicament of the Modern Man. HE is there in everything, HE is doing everything, yet HE is unable to find a place for himself where HE can find peace and happiness. It was not that Django was an unhappy man. In fact, in many of our get – togethers, he used to be the cynosure of all eyes – he used to sing well, play the guitar, enthrall everyone with his fascinating sense of humour and even cook delectable grilled chicken and caramel custard.
Django’s sudden death reminded me of two things. First, how trying and taxing, life actually can be, and secondly, how embittered a man can become owing to disturbing experiences and shattering self – realization.
Now the crucial question which comes up here is – What is really happening out there ? What’s behind all this ?
Most of us in our lives fail to have a grip over our thoughts, actions and the way things are out there. Things outside you, are there as they are. You can’t do anything about them. Either you get adjusted to them, take them in your stride, or else, languish and finally perish.
In essence, we, human beings are helpless creatures, either we are at our own mercy, or at the mercy of the world that we live in.
If you are having self – doubts about your own life and eventually get disillusioned, then you are surely under existential crisis. However, not at all individuals who are in the grip of an existential dilemma, would suffer from anguish or despair. Many of them, either, don’t admit it, or may be, because they are so much into artificial frivolities, that they don’t realize what deplorable state they are in. By the time, they get a hang of things, they have already missed the bus.
In my next chapters, I will discuss what exactly is an Existential Crisis and try to explain it to you in very simple terms.
It’s very important for you to have some understanding about what leads up to an existential impasse, how it shows up, how it progresses, how it affects your life and finally, how to prevent it and how to deal with it, when it pushes you back.
So stay on with me here. You are certainly going to have a firm grip over your life in the course of the next couple of weeks.